Common tactics involve accusing victims of paranoia. This can be difficult to cope with when it comes from someone you love and trust.
Gaslighters know that people prefer stability, so they do all they can to undermine your confidence and cause confusion. Enlisting friends or family for support when dealing with this form of abuse may prove useful.
1. Denial
Gaslighters use psychological manipulation to gain control over their targets, often by prompting them to question aspects of themselves such as self-worth, relationships, and perceptions of reality. Gaslighters will tell their targets they’re overreacting or that something’s just not real – attempts at social isolating are also commonly employed as reinforcement for such behavior.
Gaslighting typically appears when someone denies something they have done or alters facts to suit their own agenda, including denial, embellishments or fabrication of stories or alteration of facts to suit themselves.
Gaslighting can be devastatingly debilitating. Emotional abuse should always be taken seriously and immediately addressed – getting therapy may help heal from it and restore trust in yourself and in yourself as an individual – this may take time, but trust can be restored over time.
2. Isolation
Gaslighting typically manifests itself in isolation. Someone engaging in abusive behavior may keep you away from friends and family members, leading you to fear no one will believe your story when trying to discuss their actions with others.
People may challenge your memories and emotions while dismissing any thoughts and opinions you express as unreasonable or off-base. Sometimes they even suggest other people think you’re crazy, making you doubt your own reality even further.
Gaslighters will tell lies, altering the truth to fit their agenda and distorting what actually occurred in a way that contradicts yours. This can be especially dangerous as it leaves you vulnerable and confused, leaving yourself open to manipulation by their tactics. When this occurs it is vital that you seek support immediately from friends or therapists as soon as possible – additionally keeping a journal or taking photos can serve to remind yourself what truly occurred during an experience with a gaslighter.
3. Self-doubt
Gaslighters may attempt to alter your memories and make you doubt what really occurred, even though you know you remember correctly. They might claim that your endometriosis pain is actually just period pain or that nothing negative was said during that meeting between coworkers. They do this to gain power and control.
Glowiak suggests keeping a journal or using an app on your smartphone to record important events in case they come up again when being investigated, and suggests practicing self-compassion as well as seeking support from mental health professionals in order to learn about gaslighting, gain perspective and develop healthy coping mechanisms for it.
4. Anxiety
People who gaslight often increase the victim’s anxiety. This is done so they can make them feel so confused, anxious, and overwhelmed that they cannot think clearly anymore.
Gaslighters often cite external forces as justification for their actions, such as police or immigration officials watching over them.
They may challenge the victim’s memory of events or suggest that the victim is creating things from thin air. This can be extremely distressful and lead to feelings of unhinderedness; to combat this, it’s crucial that we take measures to distance ourselves from the situation while emphasizing self-care and grounding techniques such as meditation or mindfulness exercises on a regular basis. It may also help keeping evidence, such as text conversations or email drafts safe.
5. Anger
Gaslighting victims typically react strongly when confronted with their abuser’s behavior. If your significant other becomes angry with you for expressing your emotions or makes comments like, “you’re too sensitive and emotional” or “too dramatic”, this could be indicative of gaslighting. Tone policing is also a form of abuse in which partners criticize the tone of your voice to try and manipulate or subjugate you.
Signs of gaslighting include shifting or changing the subject, challenging your memory, dismissing or downplaying what has occurred and either forgetting or denying what has taken place. An abuser’s lies can seem inexplicable and effortless.
6. Paranoia
Gaslighting occurs when people start questioning their senses or memories, or depend on others for confirmation, leading them to doubt their own senses and memories or seek verification from outside sources. This feeling could be brought on by many circumstances including low socioeconomic status, drug abuse and physical conditions that cause cognitive decline.
One of the classic examples of gaslighting comes from 1944’s Gas Light movie, in which Gregory attempts to make Paula question her own reality by flickering gas lights and when Paula asked about it Gregory told her it was her imagination and not reality. Spinelli noted that abusive partners often accuse their victims of being paranoid to control them.
7. Neglect
Persons engaging in gaslighting could either remain silent, make it clear they do not listen, or become dismissive or rude in your presence, according to Marketwatch expert Mariel Buque.
Gaslighting is an abusive form of emotional abuse in which someone repeatedly disproves your concerns to cause doubt in your own reality. This tactic is frequently employed by those seeking power over others – for instance abusive husbands or co-workers.
Studies show that women are more vulnerable to being gaslighted in romantic relationships by men, but similar tactics can also be seen among co-workers or friends. Gender stereotypes present opportunities for this tactic to occur within certain workplaces – it may even occur with doctors when downplaying patients’ medical concerns.
8. Disapproval
Gaslighters may present themselves as just another normal person, making it hard to recognize their manipulative behaviors as manipulative. They might make you believe you’re overreacting or exaggerating matters.
If someone argues that their symptoms aren’t real, they might say you are “just being paranoid.” Such accusations undermine victims’ perceptions and cause them to question whether their perceptions are indeed reality.
According to Mariel Buque, if your partner regularly dismisses your feelings and accuses you of being paranoid, they could be gaslighting. According to Buque, gaslighting occurs through patterns of denial, anger and projection which leaves victims feeling helpless and hopeless. Tone policing (criticizing your tone when challenging their point of view) and external factor blame-shifting are other signs. Eventually victims become exhausted from continuous verbal abuse and become less likely to stand up for themselves.
9. Intimidation
Gaslighters use intimidation as a primary strategy of gaslighting; using their manipulative techniques to make their victims appear the victim. For instance, they might tell stories to make it seem as though abuse occurred instead if you get shoved against the wall; when shoved against something solid they may say you stumbled and they tried to steady you before pushing further against you again. Over time gaslighters may cause their victims to question their sense of reality and sanity leading them down an unpredictable path that has lasting mental health repercussions for those targeted by gaslighting.
Experts advise stepping away from abusive situations to gain some distance and save evidence, whether this be writing in a journal or saving texts and emails. Speaking to trusted friends or counselors can also offer an objective viewpoint of your abuse situation.
10. Lies
Gaslighters use clear lies to cause their victim to doubt themselves and question reality. They may claim not to understand your complaint or that their behavior wasn’t meant to hurt you; or perhaps their behaviour was just meant as an amusing joke.
Gaslighters may retell stories to paint themselves in the best light; for instance, they might claim that when they pushed you against a wall they did so because you were feeling unstable and they wanted to help steady you.
To combat gaslighting, it can be helpful to document experiences such as keeping a journal or saving text conversations and photos so that you can refer back to them later. Furthermore, talking to trusted friends or counselors about what’s happening may provide valuable perspective – often victims find difficulty recognizing abuse due to longstanding familiarity.
